Stupid holidays, Everybody has to close just because its the 4th of July....woop dee fuckin' doo. I have to work. I hope everyone stays home and barbecue like good little lemmings. That's right, dance puppets, dance. I bet the government secretly controls most of the firework producing companies and sneaks a special mind control powder in to the fireworks so that when they explode the powder fills the air nationwide. Just wait, the next time we need soldiers people will be lining up for miles, eager to do uncle Sam's bidding.

...

Am I the first person to think of this?

STAMPS